As my grandfather used to say, "Well, I'll be go to Hell." They really do send nickels. Maryann says she thinks she should let the MS Society know where the nickels are going. Found Moser Money agrees.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The Weekly Found $$$$$$$$$$$$ Report!!!!
Volume 6, Number 2
IN THIS ISSUE:
1] Tips from the Peanut Gallery!
2] Strange and/or Relevant Questions I have Received!
3] General News!
4] Last week's total!
5] Money reported this week!
6] Grand total to date!
1] Tips from the Peanut Gallery!
*When trying to load the millions of bits of paper in your office onto the digital picture frame you bought on sale at London Drugs, make sure you find out how to reformat your pictures so they will play before you cut it to bits with your chainsaw arm and throw the thing out the window into the garden. To this end, obtain a Mac Guru (who you refer to as "Dear Free Tech Support") and let him talk you off the ledge. Enjoy the new picture frame freely!
2] Strange and/or Relevant Questions I have Received!
Q: Given that Sandy's money pot now weighs over 8 pounds, if you suffer from back strain from lifting the pot of found money, will it be covered by workwomen's compensation?
A: That depends entirely on the number and brand of chainsaw arms found on the jar. If the jar has two Stihl brand chainsaw arms and someone tries to lift it, knowing that the chainsaw arms will increase the weight of the jar, then the injured person is not eligible for Workman's Compensation.
3] General News!
* It's a slow week, kids, but don't despair. Take Ella's advice: "Oma! Eyes to the ground!!" And actually, this week's report only encompasses 3 days so I think it'll be better next week.
4] Last week's total!
* We started the week with (give or take) $250.86
5] Money reported this week!
+ Kim's 7 pennies from random parking lots and Dangerousway stores. 4 of them were lined up in a bread crumb sort of way, as though luring me into the grocery store.
+ Stu's 36 cents (!!!). 25 cents from the ticket spitter, a penny at the pub, and a dime on the street outside the shop
+ Karen's 9 cents (!!!!!) following her goddaughter Katie around downtown Toronto. Katie loved our idea so much she started randomly flinging pennies to the ground for Karen to "find".
+ Karen's 1 penny on Queen Street, Toronto
+ Karen's 1 penny on Yonge Street, Toronto
+ Karen's 8 cents (!!!!!!) at Union Station, Toronto. she postulates that it's because there's a food court in there.
+ Karen's 2 cents on King Street, Toronto. [Editor's note: Toronto is the goldmine Vegas never was!!!] she had to wait for two teenagers to get on the bus so she could grab them from under their feet.
+ Sandy's $1.15 (!!!!!) from some cans at a Standardized Patient gig and a cart. yay!
For a total this week of $1.79 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our grand total is now:
$252.65!!!!!!!!!
$105.71 is the final total for the Xmas Dinner Fund.
$146.94 is currently in the Charity Fund.
Volume 6, Number 2
IN THIS ISSUE:
1] Tips from the Peanut Gallery!
2] Strange and/or Relevant Questions I have Received!
3] General News!
4] Last week's total!
5] Money reported this week!
6] Grand total to date!
1] Tips from the Peanut Gallery!
*When trying to load the millions of bits of paper in your office onto the digital picture frame you bought on sale at London Drugs, make sure you find out how to reformat your pictures so they will play before you cut it to bits with your chainsaw arm and throw the thing out the window into the garden. To this end, obtain a Mac Guru (who you refer to as "Dear Free Tech Support") and let him talk you off the ledge. Enjoy the new picture frame freely!
2] Strange and/or Relevant Questions I have Received!
Q: Given that Sandy's money pot now weighs over 8 pounds, if you suffer from back strain from lifting the pot of found money, will it be covered by workwomen's compensation?
A: That depends entirely on the number and brand of chainsaw arms found on the jar. If the jar has two Stihl brand chainsaw arms and someone tries to lift it, knowing that the chainsaw arms will increase the weight of the jar, then the injured person is not eligible for Workman's Compensation.
3] General News!
* It's a slow week, kids, but don't despair. Take Ella's advice: "Oma! Eyes to the ground!!" And actually, this week's report only encompasses 3 days so I think it'll be better next week.
4] Last week's total!
* We started the week with (give or take) $250.86
5] Money reported this week!
+ Kim's 7 pennies from random parking lots and Dangerousway stores. 4 of them were lined up in a bread crumb sort of way, as though luring me into the grocery store.
+ Stu's 36 cents (!!!). 25 cents from the ticket spitter, a penny at the pub, and a dime on the street outside the shop
+ Karen's 9 cents (!!!!!) following her goddaughter Katie around downtown Toronto. Katie loved our idea so much she started randomly flinging pennies to the ground for Karen to "find".
+ Karen's 1 penny on Queen Street, Toronto
+ Karen's 1 penny on Yonge Street, Toronto
+ Karen's 8 cents (!!!!!!) at Union Station, Toronto. she postulates that it's because there's a food court in there.
+ Karen's 2 cents on King Street, Toronto. [Editor's note: Toronto is the goldmine Vegas never was!!!] she had to wait for two teenagers to get on the bus so she could grab them from under their feet.
+ Sandy's $1.15 (!!!!!) from some cans at a Standardized Patient gig and a cart. yay!
For a total this week of $1.79 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our grand total is now:
$252.65!!!!!!!!!
$105.71 is the final total for the Xmas Dinner Fund.
$146.94 is currently in the Charity Fund.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The Weekly Found $$$$$$$$$$$$ Report!!!!
Volume 6, Number 1
IN THIS ISSUE:
1] Tips from the Peanut Gallery!
2] Strange and/or Relevant Questions I have Received!
3] General News!
4] Last week's total!
5] Money reported this week!
6] Grand total to date!
1] Tips from the Peanut Gallery!
To remove suddenly-appearing strange children on bicycles from your back yard, call the landlords and have them evicted by making up stories about how they're stealing your asparagus. Erect a large, electrified fence. Next, confiscate the basketballs and bike helmets they leave lying around in your garden and refuse to give them back, thus earning yourself the noble title, "That Mean Old Lady Next Door". Next, play Barry Manilow's greatest hits on repeat from a CD player strategically pointed at the house. If all of that fails, try the old "Get off my lawn!" tactic. [Editor's note: only the last technique has actually been applied to the problem.]
2] Strange and/or Relevant Questions I have Received!
Q: The Bat Boy from Baseline Burger Barn asks, "Why is this report so late again?"
A: Because, like, um.
Q: "Ah."
3] General News!
Described as a mysterious mix of chiroptera and human, Bat Boy is a regular character appearing in the pages of the veracity-challenged tabloid Weekly World News, as well as the subject of the theatrical production Bat Boy: The Musical. In 1992 the tabloid reported that a strange creature called the Bat Boy had been found in a cave in the mountains of West Virginia. At the time he was described as being three or four years old, with fangs, a bald head, "enormous amber eyes" and ears "like satellite dishes." Since then Bat Boy has appeared many times in the pages of the Weekly World News, most recently as a thorn in the side of Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden. Bat Boy's popularity helped launch a musical, which debuted off-Broadway in 2001 and has been described as a cross between My Fair Lady andThe Rocky Horror Picture Show.
4] Last week's total!
* We started the week with (give or take) $241.05
5] Money reported this week!
+ Karen's 11 cents from a beer can at the Vipers' game and a penny at Dangerousway
+ Sandy and Sig's $2.42 a-like so: "4 safeway carts, went to the varscona to a play tonight and found 2 pennies and one quarter near the door. a dime AND a quarter on the floor of safeways while actually insided and buying milk! 7 cans. (3 from the fake patient thing, two in the ditch possible someone new.. canadian this time, and 2 from inside the varscona)
+ Sandy's $3.05 (!!!!!!!!!!!!) a-like so: "so there I was, being a liver, and at the break, I was telling the lady who runs the fake patient thing, about finding money and no money xmas. and safeway carts, and found pop cans.. at the end of the day, she hands me a bag full of all the cans and bottles from lunch! plus one safeway cart on the way home.
+ Sandy's 10 cents: "a ROOT BEER can???? in the ditch here? what the hell, has he become a reformed drinker?
+ Karen's 12 cents a-like so: "A dime and two pennies at the south centre mall food court proving my theory that mall food courts are gold mines"
+ Karen's 1 cent from some parking lot
+ Karen's 26 cents from a penny and a Dangerousway cart (on a +27 degree day)
+ Kim's 1 Yankee Cent a-like so: "i found a total of ONE PENNY in Vegas and it was in my room! it had been half vaccuumed under the lip between the carpet and the bathroom. i had to dig it out. no other money anywhere"
+ Karen's 26 cents a-like so: "Another cart quarter and another penny! Yay dangerous way!"
+ Karen's 11 cents (a dime from the Dangeroussay and a penny from the SEV.)
+ Ella and Sandy's $3.26 (!!!!!!!!) a-like so: "AND.. today I found a quarter in a safeway cart, A LOONIE IN A ZELLERS CART, the picked up ella from school, and we went through the drive through at macdonalds. this from a 5 year old: "OMA!!! eyes to the ground!" so opened the door, and ella is yelling "A PENNY! A PENNY!" but there was also a quarter!!"
+ Stu's 10 cents from down the street.
For a total this week of $9.81 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our grand total is now:
$250.86!!!!!!!!!
$105.71 is the final total for the Xmas Dinner Fund.
$145.15 is currently in the Charity Fund.
Volume 6, Number 1
IN THIS ISSUE:
1] Tips from the Peanut Gallery!
2] Strange and/or Relevant Questions I have Received!
3] General News!
4] Last week's total!
5] Money reported this week!
6] Grand total to date!
1] Tips from the Peanut Gallery!
To remove suddenly-appearing strange children on bicycles from your back yard, call the landlords and have them evicted by making up stories about how they're stealing your asparagus. Erect a large, electrified fence. Next, confiscate the basketballs and bike helmets they leave lying around in your garden and refuse to give them back, thus earning yourself the noble title, "That Mean Old Lady Next Door". Next, play Barry Manilow's greatest hits on repeat from a CD player strategically pointed at the house. If all of that fails, try the old "Get off my lawn!" tactic. [Editor's note: only the last technique has actually been applied to the problem.]
2] Strange and/or Relevant Questions I have Received!
Q: The Bat Boy from Baseline Burger Barn asks, "Why is this report so late again?"
A: Because, like, um.
Q: "Ah."
3] General News!
Described as a mysterious mix of chiroptera and human, Bat Boy is a regular character appearing in the pages of the veracity-challenged tabloid Weekly World News, as well as the subject of the theatrical production Bat Boy: The Musical. In 1992 the tabloid reported that a strange creature called the Bat Boy had been found in a cave in the mountains of West Virginia. At the time he was described as being three or four years old, with fangs, a bald head, "enormous amber eyes" and ears "like satellite dishes." Since then Bat Boy has appeared many times in the pages of the Weekly World News, most recently as a thorn in the side of Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden. Bat Boy's popularity helped launch a musical, which debuted off-Broadway in 2001 and has been described as a cross between My Fair Lady andThe Rocky Horror Picture Show.
4] Last week's total!
* We started the week with (give or take) $241.05
5] Money reported this week!
+ Karen's 11 cents from a beer can at the Vipers' game and a penny at Dangerousway
+ Sandy and Sig's $2.42 a-like so: "4 safeway carts, went to the varscona to a play tonight and found 2 pennies and one quarter near the door. a dime AND a quarter on the floor of safeways while actually insided and buying milk! 7 cans. (3 from the fake patient thing, two in the ditch possible someone new.. canadian this time, and 2 from inside the varscona)
+ Sandy's $3.05 (!!!!!!!!!!!!) a-like so: "so there I was, being a liver, and at the break, I was telling the lady who runs the fake patient thing, about finding money and no money xmas. and safeway carts, and found pop cans.. at the end of the day, she hands me a bag full of all the cans and bottles from lunch! plus one safeway cart on the way home.
+ Sandy's 10 cents: "a ROOT BEER can???? in the ditch here? what the hell, has he become a reformed drinker?
+ Karen's 12 cents a-like so: "A dime and two pennies at the south centre mall food court proving my theory that mall food courts are gold mines"
+ Karen's 1 cent from some parking lot
+ Karen's 26 cents from a penny and a Dangerousway cart (on a +27 degree day)
+ Kim's 1 Yankee Cent a-like so: "i found a total of ONE PENNY in Vegas and it was in my room! it had been half vaccuumed under the lip between the carpet and the bathroom. i had to dig it out. no other money anywhere"
+ Karen's 26 cents a-like so: "Another cart quarter and another penny! Yay dangerous way!"
+ Karen's 11 cents (a dime from the Dangeroussay and a penny from the SEV.)
+ Ella and Sandy's $3.26 (!!!!!!!!) a-like so: "AND.. today I found a quarter in a safeway cart, A LOONIE IN A ZELLERS CART, the picked up ella from school, and we went through the drive through at macdonalds. this from a 5 year old: "OMA!!! eyes to the ground!" so opened the door, and ella is yelling "A PENNY! A PENNY!" but there was also a quarter!!"
+ Stu's 10 cents from down the street.
For a total this week of $9.81 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our grand total is now:
$250.86!!!!!!!!!
$105.71 is the final total for the Xmas Dinner Fund.
$145.15 is currently in the Charity Fund.
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